


This shits crazy

by Ghostyflurry



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Consistent Narrative who?, F/M, MC is a mess and so is the writer, Modern Girl in Thedas, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow burn ish?, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-26 14:32:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17747657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostyflurry/pseuds/Ghostyflurry
Summary: Braidy was just trying to take a stroll after class one day, and now she's been launched into the world she loved so much. Emphasis on 'loved'; it's all fun and games until you're actually neck deep in darkspawn with the odds of survival lowering by the second.Buckle up, lads. Looks like we're in this for the long run.





	1. Chapter 1

“Let me. There’s no need for you to die. This is-”

_Here we go._ Braidy was breathing hard, feeling the adrenaline coursing through her body. The Archdemon was down, though not dead yet. All this, everything they had been through, it all came down to this moment. _Shit he’s still talking._

“-stop the Blight before it really starts. No one could blame me for that, could they?”

“No… they couldn’t. But I still think you’d make a great king, Alistair” she replied with confidence. She didn’t just think he’d be a great king, she knew he would. “Really? Because I think I would be a piss-poor king. I don’t know the first thing about it”

_Not sure how I could argue with that._

“Not to mention you’re the best friend I could ever have asked for” he continued. Braidy started to tear up at that, she blinked the tears away. “I would be dead if you hadn’t saved my life a dozen times over by now. So let me save yours just this once” Alistairs voice trailed off. There was a deep grumble and movement from the archdemon, they were out of time. Alistair began to move but Braidy quickly grabbed his arm to restrain him. “No! I can’t let you do this! You need to become king” she was talking rapidly, the archdemon was beginning to stand up. The despair on Alistairs face sent a shockwave of hurt through Braidy. She gripped his arm harder as she steeled herself. Alistair looked ready to move out of her grip.

_It’s now or never._

So, with all her strength, she pulled him back and ran. Her entire body screamed at her, they had been fighting for so long she’d lost count of the hours, but she continued. She had to. _The sword!_ A large sword was sticking out of…. Something very dead. She grabbed it and kept running towards the archdemon, now almost stood up. It screamed at her and as it reached its head down to attack her, she ducked. _I remember how this went!_ Facing the sword upwards, she stabbed it up into the dragons(?) neck and dragged it down the length of it. Surprisingly there wasn’t much resistance on the sword, leaving a clean cut which almost split the neck in half. The archdemon let out a final roar, swinging its head around before falling to the ground.

Braidy was now officially covered from head to toe in blood, and as she turned towards the archdemons head, she took one final glance at her party. Alistair, Zevran, Leliana, and Wynne were all staring at her.

_This isn’t the time to hesitate._

Letting out the fiercest battle cry she could muster, she raised the sword and stabbed it straight through the skull of the archdemon. Within a second, a large beam of light erupted from its head, Braidy was frozen in place, gripping the sword. Her entire world was filled with white as she felt the Blight taking over her, being passed on from the archdemon.

Braidy had always assumed killing the archdemon would be a painful death, to have the Blight truly consume her. But in that moment, as Braidy lost control and feeling of her body, she felt… almost at peace. Almost. As the darkness threatened to consume her once again, she was faced with the (Fond? No. Definitely terrifying) memories of what she’d been through to get here.

It’s a pretty long story, and it starts somewhere very, very far from here, in a whole other universe.

 

* * *

 

 

It was just another ordinary day, it always starts as an ordinary day. Braidy woke up at the ripe ol’ time of 7:30am and immediately proceeded to hit snooze on her alarm. After roughly half an hour of being in denial about having to get up for class, she forced herself out of bed and started her morning routine; wash, get dressed, brush teeth, and make coffee (coffee obviously being the most important step).

Thermos of coffee in hand, she was ready to face a day of actually trying to pay attention in class. Of course, she would give up on that roughly 10 minutes into the first class, but the point is she was trying. She could always review the material later. Probably. It was a daily struggle convincing herself that she was a decent student. After a truly painful few hours of class, Braidy was ready to sleep for a month. But instead, she decided staying outside for a while longer would probably benefit her more than going home and gluing herself to the couch while watching Netflix for hours. _Maybe a walk along the pier will do. Piers are always fun!_  She thought, like an idiot. As it turns out, this innocent trip to the pier would be what changed her life forever. She didn’t know that yet of course.

How could she have known how quickly and violently the weather would change?

Braidy was relaxing at the end of the pier when the freak storm started. She had been watching the ocean as the tide began to go out, when suddenly the wind picked up and it began to rain. Heavily. Braidy took this as a hint to get the hell out of there and go home, but thanks to her wonderful luck, things took an extremely quick turn for the worse. And in a moment of queen-level gracefulness, she had slipped on the deck as she tried to escape and fallen through the barrier supposedly meant to _prevent_ people from falling into the ocean.

Now Braidy was confident in herself as a swimmer but as she fell into the ocean, cursing whatever god she had apparently pissed off, she received a cold, wet slap of reality that no matter how good of a swimmer you are, when faced with an outgoing tide and stormy weather you’re pretty much screwed. She remembered reading on the internet once that when you’re face to face with death, no matter how ready you may be for it, survival instinct is bound to kick in. Here was an example of where it did, she tried everything; focussing on trying to swim up, trying not to panic, panicking anyway and resorting to thrashing wildly in the water. That was about all she could do to be fair. Eventually, as she was on the verge of unconsciousness, her body gave in to the instinct to breathe, inhaling the bitter seawater that felt like lava, and her world turned to white, then green, and finally, black.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by wine, a shameful amount of biscuits, and procrastination.
> 
> i figure this is a good point to say i dont have a beta reader so if theres any obvious mistakes feel free to point them out

Anger. That was the first emotion that Braidy remembered feeling. Anger at the world, anger at the weather, anger at herself for not being able to survive, but most of all, anger at fate for letting her die before she could achieve anything meaningful.

Then, her world became white again, then still white but… with multicoloured shapes crowding her vision. _Is the afterlife meant to be this blurry?_  

“Sh- waking u-“ a noise came from one of the shapes, that Braidy was beginning to process as a person.

_Wait._

_Should the afterlife be this painful?_

Probably not. As she started to regain the feeling in her body, the pains of what she’d experienced were starting to flare up too. She let out a groan and one of the figures moved closer to her.

“M- me is- Keep- ethari” it spoke. _These people either need to start making sense or my ears need to stop being bitches._ Up close, she could start to make out the features of the person. She was old by the looks of it. Her hair had greyed completely, and wrinkles scattered her face. Speaking of her face, it was covered in some kind of tattoo. Braidy wasn’t against tattoos but covering your face with them was definitely a bold move. _No judgement, though._ She really didn’t like how increasingly aware she was becoming of how uncomfortable she was.

“Do yo- ember your name?” she spoke again. Braidy tried to say her name, she really did, but her throat felt like it had been clawed at by several angry cats so all that came out was a croak. “Oh!” another figure exclaimed and moved a bottle to her mouth. She felt her head being lifted and the cool rush of water flowing into her mouth. This should have been a simple task, but given what had just happened Braidy immediately went to expel the water from her mouth, choking herself and probably covering the poor person who was trying to help her with water in the process. This also managed to make the burning in her throat worse.

Braidy was way too exhausted for this.

“It’s okay. You’re safe here” one of them spoke again. _Why are these people so nice? Just leave me to die it’ll be a lot easier._ “I’m going to give you some water again, okay?” _Was that a welsh accent? Not important._ Braidy made a noise in reply and actually managed to drink the water this time. It was a welcome relief for her throat. Slowly, she realised the various pains in her body were beginning to disappear. _Weird._ Maybe this was the afterlife after all. The older lady was moving her hands around her body, a strange glow emitting from her hands. This would have been a lot more alarming to Braidy if she hadn’t been too tired to properly react. Her vision and hearing had apparently fully recovered now. “She’s only healing you, don’t worry” welsh accent spoke again and Braidy looked up to her.

And was greeting with a face that looked extremely like a lifelike Merril. “H th fuck” was all Braidy manage to get out. Looking more, she had the pointed ears and everything. _So I’ve been saved from drowning by some very accurate Dragon Age cosplayer. H the fuck indeed._

“How did I miss a convention in the area?” Braidy’s voice came out clearer now, not that she’d intended to say that out loud in the first place. _Wait. Did she say healing? If she’s staying in character that’s going to get old really fast._ Not-Merrill gave me a confused look. “A con-ven-shun? I’ve never heard of those!” she exclaimed. _Really, really fast._

The old lady had stopped moving now and was looking at Not-Merrill, “Hush, dear. She is still recovering from her injuries; will you go and see if there is food to spare?”.

“Yes, Keeper” Not-Merrill replied. The old lady, who Braidy now assumed to be a cosplayer of Keeper Marethari, then turned back to Braidy. “I am Keeper Marethari,” _Bingo._ “you are with Clan Sabrae. Can you tell me your name now?” she spoke, seemingly determined not to break character. _Might as well play along for now._

“Name’s Braidy… uh… how did I get here? How long have I been asleep?” she gasped “is this hell?”  the realisation hit her like a truck. This was definitely the afterlife; she always knew she’d end up in some level of hell. _But if I’m stuck in one of my favourite video games wouldn’t this be heaven? Some kind of weird purgatory?_ Keeper Marethari chuckled, and before she could answer, Merrill walked back into the tent holding a bowl. Filled with food. Delicious smelling food. Her stomach growled loudly in response; she’d be embarrassed if she wasn’t surrounded by LARPers. Braidy sat up quickly, a little too quickly she realised as a wave of dizziness settled over her. Someone’s hand reached out to steady her; and as she regained her senses, she realised she wasn’t wearing the same clothes from before. Which was fair since her other clothes were likely soaked from… almost drowning. It still weirded her out a little that these strangers had undressed her in her sleep.

“Goat stew. It’s not much but the hunters weren’t as lucky today” Merrill ( _When did I start thinking of her as actually Merrill?_ ) said as she handed the bowl towards her. _Okay. Never had goat before but we can work with this._ “Exotic. Thanks though” Braidy replied, taking the stew from her and digging in.

“A patrol found you along the riverbank this morning, da’len. You were half drowned and not well at all. Do you remember anything from before?” Marethari spoke as Braidy was not-so-glamorously scoffing down her food, which surprisingly tasted really good. “Yeah. I was walking along the pier after class and then some suuuper crazy weather appeared and next thing I know… BAM. I’m drowning. And now I’m here. Where exactly is here by the way?” Was she rambling again? Oh well, the two “elves” were looking at her oddly.

“As I said before, you are with clan Sabrae. We are currently camped within the Brecillian Forest” Marethari replies. _Not helpful, lady._

“Look I get you’re dedicated to your character but that really doesn’t help me. Where are we in reality?” Braidy said, her patience quickly thinning. This earned her more odd looks from the others. She continued eating while they seemed to be having their roleplay moral dilemma. This food was running out way too quickly. “I don’t quite understand?” Marethari spoke again. Braidy set the now empty bowl to the side of her. Before she could speak, Merrill was joining in while taking the bowl and setting it down somewhere near. “Did you escape from the Denerim alienage? If so, it’s ok to admit it. We won’t send you back!” Merrill sounded so sincere she wanted to hug her. That feeling was quickly crushed by the want to slap them for not breaking character. This was seriously getting annoying now. Why wouldn’t they just explain where she was? She hadn’t realised she was beginning to breathe heavily until she was being hushed and gently led back down.

“I’m sure you’re still confused, that must have been traumatic. Rest for now, da’len” Marethari sounded so sincere too. It annoyed Braidy greatly. _Just explain where I am!! It’s not that hard!_ She wanted to yell at them, but the feeling of tiredness was taking over her body, panic settling hard in her stomach. This felt too much like dying again.

She had hardly noticed the older elf’s hands had begun glowing when she felt the darkness take over once again.

 

* * *

 

 

_“You’re alive!”_

_…Hello?_

_“I didn’t expect to see you here again! Hello!”_

_Who is this?_

_“Oh! I’m Hope!”_

_Hope?_

_“Yes, that’s it!”_

_Where am I?_

_“The Fade! This is the only place we can speak right now”_

_The Fade? That’s not real. Am I dreaming?_

_“Well… technically yes, you are dreaming!”_

_I’ve never had a lucid dream before… weird. At least I got a straight answer this time. Why can’t I move?_

_“You’re here, but not quite. Not solid. That’s probably why. Don’t worry, though! I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon— oh, it looks like we’re out of time. I’ll see you again soon!”_

_What do you me—_

* * *

 

When Braidy awoke again, she was in the same tent, the same bed, much to her disappointment. She came to her senses a lot quicker than last time, her injuries obviously healed and no longer bothering her. She also noted that she was now alone in the tent, Marethari and Merrill obviously deciding she didn’t need to be watched over 24/7. Shrugging off the strange dream, she sat up and went to get out of the bed, which she now noticed was on the floor. As she got up, wobbling a lot more than she’d liked, her bladder decided to make its presence known, sending a quick shock through her body. _Time to find the bathroom._

Quickly stretching and making sure she was indeed fully clothed (she was, although she was missing shoes. Not that they were a priority at the moment), Braidy walked out of the tent.

Which was absolutely a mistake, because she was greeted immediately by blinding sunlight, causing her to flinch back and cover her eyes. _Good start._

Once her eyes had adjusted, she took a moment to look around.

“What the fuck” she muttered as she took in the area. She appeared to be in a large camp, there were strange ship looking things with red sails and there were people rushing around everywhere. _Cosplayers. Cosplayers everywhere_ she thought bitterly. Looking at the sky, it appeared to be mid-morning. Probably. It could also be evening, though Braidy doubted a camp would be this busy in the evening. She could also be completely wrong about this, she desperately needed to find the bathroom. Which, judging by her current area, was most likely a bush. _Probably best to ask someone anyway, just in case._

Quickly looking around, she wobbled towards the nearest person she could find, a young-looking brunette who was sharpening a knife that looked very real and very intimidating. The brunette looked up at Braidy as she approached, looking confused for a moment before returning to his previously unimpressed look. _No going back now then._ “You’re the flat-ear they found by the river,” it wasn’t a question “You’re awake then” he continued. _Hang on did he say flat-ear?_ She had officially lost patience with these people. Pushing those feelings back down to the recesses of her mind, mostly because she didn’t have time to throw a fit right now thanks to the bladder situation, she replied, “Yeah. Where’s the loo here?”. The brunette gave her a blank expression. “The bathroom? Toilet? El baño?” she continued. This earned her an even less impressed look as the other boy… (elf? She definitely had pointy ears) pointed towards the bushes nearby, “Just find a spot not too far from camp and try not to fall in another river” he smirked to himself.

“Right. Thanks”, Braidy deadpanned, _definitely too soon for jokes from other people._ Before the other could reply, she turned and headed towards the bushes, preparing herself for a very uncomfortable experience. Braidy never liked camping and peeing in the wilderness with your ass exposed to the winds was the worst part about it.

A short trip, several uncomfortable breezes, and a rough drip dry later; Braidy was feeling lighter and ready to truly figure out what the fuck was going on. Across the camp, a concerned looking Marethari noticed her and began walking towards her. _Damn that old woman can move fast._

“Da’len! I was concerned when I could not find you, but Junar informed me of where you went”, _So his name was Junar then._ “You should not leave camp unarmed and in your condition, da’len” Marethari continued. Braidy held back a scoff. _The most dangerous thing I could find in these woods are your nerdy not-so-fake weapons._ “Right. Sorry, not to sound ungrateful or anything but I’d really like to go home now… so could you lend me a phone or something so I can call my mum?” Braidy asked. The Keepers face grew concerned again. “What is a… phone?” Marethari said hesitantly, the simple word seeming foreign in her mouth.

Braidy wanted to cry.

“Oh, come on! No one here even has a mobile?! This isn’t funny anymore! It never was!” she was trying her hardest not to raise her voice, she really was. But who could blame her for wanting to scream at them? These asshole cosplayers, or LARPers, or whatever they were refused to break character for two fucking seconds just to help her.

Marethari looked taken aback briefly before returning to that sincere, concerned look of hers. “Da’len, please calm down” she spoke quietly but firmly, obviously not wanting to attract more attention than Braidy had already done. She was definitely crying now. Braidy sent sharp glares to everyone she could as a hand grasped her arm and guided her somewhere, she wasn’t really paying attention.

She tried her hardest not to think that maybe, just maybe, these people weren’t simply cosplayers, that maybe this was something much, much scarier. She pushed that deep into the dark corners of her mind and allowed her good friend denial to take the front.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew this is a slow start but things are probably gonna start to pick up next chapter i swear
> 
> comments are appreciated and give me life honestly so pls feel free to leave them <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Game: START

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty dialogue heavy so im sorry in advance 
> 
> also hi thank u to everyone who left kudos i love and appreciate u a lot

_Dear Diary (that’s cheesy. Think of something better soon)_

_I’m going to keep this short since paper isn’t exactly readily available here. It’s been about a month since I got here. This whole time I’ve been convincing myself this has been some crazy dream thanks to my overactive imagination… its time to face reality. I’m stuck, somehow, in Thedas. THEDAS. What is this,, a fucking fanfic??_

_What brought me back to reality you wonder? Not the elves. Not the halla. Not even the unfortunate surprise when I discovered that my ears were just as pointed as the elves here. It was a nug. A fucking NUG. I was out hunting with Tamlen and it just appeared out of nowhere. A grim but adorable reminder that this wasn’t all fake._

_I think part of me is still hoping this could be some kind of elaborate joke. Maybe hanging on to that hope will keep me from going insane in his place. For now, I’m going to suck it up and enjoy the ride I guess. And in case anyone ever finds this and can read it…_

_To Mum and Dad,_

_I –_

“Hey Braidy! Dinner’s ready” Tamlen appeared from around the corner. Braidy had found a secluded spot in the camp to write her diary/letters. It really was hard to find privacy within the clan. Making sure the ink was dry, she folded up the paper and pocketed it. _Can always finish this later._

 

* * *

 

 

_“You’re back again! Mostly… Hello!”_

_Hope?_

_“That’s me!”_

_You’re real then?_

_“I am! I haven’t been able to reach you for a while… or you haven’t been able to reach me”_

_Maybe both._

_“Oh! Maybe!”_

_This is the fade then?_

_“Yes!”_

_Can I ask some more questions? Why can’t I move… or see anything?_

_“Well…”_

* * *

 

_Wassup Diary! How you doin’ today? Good? Me too! For the most part…_

_I’ve been here about half a year now… that’s not terrifying to think about. I think I’ve pretty much settled in to clan life. Tamlen has been a big help in teaching me how to hunt and fight. I don’t think I’m quite on par with the hunters of the clan yet… yet!! I’m sure with time I’ll get more skilled._

_Most of the clan were wary of me at first, but now that I’m helping more around the camp, they’ve become more welcoming (my newly formed elfy features probably helped with that). But since we’ve moved south, things have been gradually getting more tense with a nearby village._

_This has all been starting to sound way too familiar to me. The threat of the Blight haunts me more and more. Hope (my spirit friend!) does their best to comfort me when we meet (which I still don’t understand how its possible. From what I know im not a mage. I think I just need to not think about it too much). I don’t think I can truly confide in anyone else. Not even Tamlen, who I’ve somehow gotten pretty close to these past couple months. He’s a pretty decent guy._

_Anyway, it’s already late and I don’t want to waste more paper. Hopefully next time I write there will be happier things to talk about._

_Peace out_

_Braidy_

* * *

 

It was just another regular day. It’s always just another day. Braidy was to go out hunting with Tamlen as usual.

They had barely set out before Tamlen had run on ahead, leaving her to lag behind. Hearing a commotion up ahead, Braidy picked up the pace until she saw Tamlen pointing his bow towards three humans. _Wonderful._ Braidy quickly loaded an arrow onto her bow and walked to his side, also aiming at the humans.

“You’re just in time. I found these… _humans_ lurking in the bushes. Bandits, no doubt.” He said as she got to his side. Yikes. If only he knew that she wasn’t an elf before she got here. “We aren’t bandits, I swear! Please don’t hurt us!” Bandit on the right spoke. You had to give credit to his acting to be fair, but no one ends up this close to camp accidentally.

“You shemlen are pathetic. It’s hard to believe you ever drove us from our homeland.” Tamlen responded, the spite obvious in his voice.

“W-we’ve never done anything to you Dalish! We didn’t even know this forest was yours!” Generic middle bandit managed to stutter out. Tamlen was moving closer to them so Braidy closely followed. She hoped they would come up with something better to be able to get out of this, she had avoided killing anything other than animals up until now and she really didn’t want to start now.

“This forest isn’t ours, fool. You’ve stumbled too close to our camp. You shems are like vermin- we can’t trust you not to make mischief” Tamlen sounded bitter but he was definitely loving the terrified looks these humans were giving us. “What do you say, lethallan?” Braidys heart fluttered at that, it felt good to know he thought of her like that. “What should we do with them?” he continued.

As stated before, Braidy really didn’t want to start killing people, especially when they haven’t specifically done anything wrong yet. “Why don’t we figure out what they’re doing here before we decide?” she replied.

“L-look… we didn’t come here to be trouble. We just found a cave…” Bandit on the left finally speaks.

“Yes, a cave! With ruins like I’ve never seen! We thought there might be uh…”

“Treasure. So, you’re more akin to thieves than actual bandits” Tamlen finishes for him. Braidy snickers. “I’d like to see those ruins!” she adds, looking towards him with a smirk. He looks back at her too.

“So would I. I’ve never heard of ruins in these parts” he adds, then his attention is back on the humans.

“I-I-I have proof! Here! We found this just in side the entrance” the man on the right is stuttering now and moving cautiously towards us. He hands us a small stone, which Tamlen quickly snatches from him. “This stone has carvings…” he squints at the object in his hands, “Is this elvish? _Written_ elvish?” he speaks, shocked.

“There’s more in the ruins! We didn’t get very far in, though…” one of the humans pipes up again. Braidy has lost interest. She’s starting to feel like this situation is familiar in some way. “We didn’t even know you elves were here! We were just trying to find the treasure!”

_Do these people never shut up?_

“And this is all you found? Why didn’t you look for more? Tamlen asks. Braidy turns her attention back to the humans. “There was a demon! It was huge, with black eyes! Thank the Maker we were able to out-run it!” the same guy is still speaking, he must be their unofficial leader. Tamlen scoffs.

“A demon? Where is this cave?” Tamlen asks casually, as if a demon isn’t a very real, very scary threat. This feeling of deja-vu was really starting to annoy Braidy. She missed whatever was said next.

“-em? Shall we let them go?” Tamlen was speaking to her. _Fuck. Probably should be paying attention._ “Look at them, they’re scared shitless. I say let them go” she replied. This earned a chuckle from him.

“Go. Make sure we don’t see you again” Tamlen says, finally putting his bow away as the humans ran away. Braidy laughed at the sight, it was a little ridiculous really. “They could’ve at least said thank you” she commented. Tamlen turned to her, “Well, shall we see if there’s any truth to their story? These carvings make me curious” he said.

“Shouldn’t we ask the keeper first?” she replied, her status in the clan was already fragile as it was, she didn’t want to lose their trust now.

“She might be interested in these carvings, but let’s see if there’s anything more before we get excited” he replied, his mind obviously made up. _Did I even have a choice in this?_ “Besides, we’re already here! Now, they said it was to the west…” he said, looking for the direction to go. Braidy rolled her eyes at him.

“If there really is a demon in there, we’re leaving immediately to get help okay?” she said as they begun walking. “Do you really have such little confidence in us?” he feigned hurt.

“Against a demon? Absolutely zero confidence” she said, laughing. She was only half joking.

 

 

After about half an hour they found the cave. Along the way, they’d had an unfortunate encounter with a few aggressive wolves, but with a few precise shots from Tamlens bow and well-timed slashes from Braidys knives, that problem was taken care of quickly. Braidy preferred knives when fighting, a bow was really only useful when they were hunting. Which they were _supposed_ to be doing right now.

“I don’t recall seeing this before, do you?” Tamlen spoke as they approached the entrance. “No… I really don’t think we should be going in here alone” she replied. There were definitely bad vibes coming from this place. “There’s nobody else here. And I’m not running back for help unless there’s something worth making a fuss over” he sounded annoyed for a moment, but then his enthusiasm was back, “Come oonn, let’s at least see what’s there. How dangerous could it be?” he was definitely teasing her then. _Famous last words…_

The cave looked like it was straight out of a horror movie. It was obviously a very old ruins, the walls were crumbling, and large roots were growing out of the walls and ceilings. Where the roots had broken through the bricks, dirt had poured into the rooms. The only light source within the ruins were cracks in the roof which allowed sunlight to filter in. It was quite hauntingly beautiful in a way, Braidy noted. “I wonder what this was used for?” she thought out loud. Tamlen didn’t respond, too engrossed in observing the surroundings too.

And that was when it all went to shit. Suddenly there was a loud hissing coming from above them, startling them out of their trance, and then there were four large objects falling from the ceiling. _Not objects… REALLY NOT OBJECTS_. Braidy screamed, they were surrounded by giant, disgusting spiders. She wanted to throw up, cry, then throw up again. The spiders hissed again and launched at the pair.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” Braidy was chanting as she allowed her muscle memory to carry her through the fight. By the time it was over, Tamlen didn’t seem phased, but Braidy was thoroughly covered in… spider juice and she was not happy about it. “Who the FUCK allowed GIANT SPIDERS to exist? What kind of sick joke is this?!” she yelled as she frantically flailed her body to try and remove any remnants of the spiders from her clothing. She finished her mini breakdown with a series of unintelligible noises, and when she looked over, she noticed Tamlen was trying his very best to hold back his laughter. “I swear to Go-- Mythal if you weren’t covered in spider goo right now I would smack you” she joked. Mostly. This only seemed to make him want to laugh more.

“Alright I’m giving you a minute to get yourself together and then we’re leaving. This has been traumatic enough!” she said, folding her arms and giving her best stern look. He sobered up quickly then, “You’re just being dramatic, we haven’t found anything interesting yet!” he said, giving her a couple pats on the shoulder before continuing to walk ahead. Knowing she couldn’t leave him alone in here, Braidy let out an annoyed groan before following him deeper in to the hellish ruins.

 

 

They had been wandering for what felt like hours; a few too many encounters with more giant spiders had Braidy feeling more and more on edge. After a quick stop to look at a crumbling statue, they had decided it was an elven ruin they were in. This only encouraged Tamlen more, though he seemed to be finally feeling the creeps from this place.

Walking through another door that looked exactly the same to the others in the ruin, Braidy expected yet another hallway that was crumbling down. So she was surprised to find a very large room, still filled with giant roots she noted, with a large mirror and two equally large statues raised in the centre of the room. She knew what this was. “An Eluvian…” she breathed out.

“What? An Eluvian? Like the ancient elves used to use?” Tamlen was practically buzzing. Braidy simply nodded at him. “It just looks like a regular old mirror to me!” he said, walking closer to the object. She followed quickly behind.

“It’s beautiful! I wonder what the writing says?”

“Do Not Touch, maybe?”

He scoffed, “We wouldn’t leave a fingerprint on it… see how clean it is? Not a single smudge or crack…” he sounded in awe, which was fair. Despite the simplicity of the mirror, it had a strange beauty to it.

“Hey did you see that?”

“See what?”

“Something moved… inside the mirror.”

She froze, that’s when it hit Braidy. This was the beginning of the Dalish elf origin. The start of the Blight… kind of. Tamlen had already moved towards the Eluvian.

“Fuck! Tamlen! Get away from that thing!” she shouted in a panic, reaching to grab his arm and stop him. “Relax, I’m just trying to see what it is!” he moved to pull his arm from her grasp, but Braidy was holding on too tight. “You’re starting to hurt m— look, there it is again! Don’t you see it?” he was starting to sound like he was whining now.

She did see it, the mirrors ‘glass’ was rippling, teasing us. Braidy hated how she felt so drawn to the object.

“Do you feel that? I think it knows we’re here…” he said dreamily. She did feel it, it definitely knew of our presence. “I just need to take a closer look” Talmen said, walking closer to the mirror. Braidy was tugging on his arm, trying to pull him back, but her efforts were proving futile. As much as she hated to admit it, Tamlen was a lot stronger than her. She debated tackling him to stop him, but the Eluvian seemed to put them in some sort of trance, she was finding it harder and harder to think straight.

Once again, panic was embedding itself in her insides, she was being rendered helpless yet again, and Tamlen was still talking, getting closer and closer to the mirror that would cause them both so much suffering. He was touching it now, still speaking. She couldn’t move, the mirror was calling to them.

“It… it saw me! Help!” Tamlen shouted, the terror in his voice slapping Braidy back to reality, she snapped her focus back to him. “I can’t lo-“he started, but before he could finish, the world exploded into white, then darkness once again.

 

* * *

 

 

The world was bright, too bright. The outline of the trees was barely visible. Her body was numb. A figure became visible as her vision was turned to the side. It was still too bright, too blurry to see features. He spoke.

“Can you hear me? I am… very sorry” he sounded sympathetic, but she could barely hear him through the ringing in her ears.

And then the world was dark again.

 

* * *

 

 

When Braidy woke again, she had regained the feeling in her body, not that she was happy about it. She wasn’t in pain, but there was a dull ache that lingered in all her limbs. The world around her seemed to mirror how she felt… drained. Everything felt wrong. Corrupt.

_Tamlen._

Braidy shot upright in her bed, looking around frantically. _No no no no. Please no…_ She forced her body to move, to get out of bed, and scramble out of the tent she was in. It was too bright outside, even though it was probably early morning. Close by, there was a blonde elf turned away from her, she gasped. She prayed to every god she could think of that it was Tamlen. He turned around at her approach.

Braidy sagged, it was only Fenarel. But there was still hope yet.

“You’re awake! You’ve the gods’ own luck, lethallan. You’re back at camp, everyone was worried sick about you! How do you feel?”

“Shit. And worried… where is Tamlen?”

Fenarel hesitated, his expression dropping. “We don’t know. The shem who brought you here saw no sign of him” He said quietly. “There was a human? I thought we chased them away?” she asked.

“A shem bought you here two days ago. You don’t remember him?”

She remembered sunlight, trees, and… a figure? _Was that him?_ “Maybe… wait. I’ve been unconscious for two days?!” she exclaimed. You’d think Braidy was used to being unconscious for long amounts of time by now, but apparently not.

“Yes! Anyway, the shem, he was a Gray Warden and appeared out of nowhere with you slung over his shoulder. You were delirious with fever. He said that he found you outside a cave in the forest, unconscious and alone” Fenarel was talking but she wasn’t really listening. Braidy knew this situation too well, she had only played the Dalish elf origin once on her first ever playthrough of Origins, but she knew what was going to happen. She had already received her death sentence. She was going to die a slow and horrible death or join the Gray Wardens and delay that death for a few decades. If she isn’t killed first. The latter is definitely more likely.

“—I’ll go get her” Fenarel finished before walking away. She definitely should have been listening. Left alone again, despair threatened to take over her. She pushed that feeling down as far as she could when she heard the Keeper approach.

 

* * *

 

 

_Hey Diary, it’s me again._

_I’m in a lot of shit right now. A tremendous amount of shit, like a years’ worth of halla dung. Despite my best efforts to become a legit part of the clan, I’ve been thrust ass first into (imo) the most stressful of the Dragon Age games. I knew this was coming, but I was too busy trying to sort my life out to try and do anything about it._

_I’m a fucking idiot._

_I woke up Blighted, and without my best friend. There were varying reactions from the clan members, though they all expressed their relief that I was awake. I can’t help but still feel hollow. Keeper Marethari sent me, Merrill and Fenarel back to the ruins to try and find Tamlen. Of course, we didn’t. They believe him to be dead. I will not let them know of his true fate. That is my burden, they don’t deserve more suffering._

_We ran into darkspawn in the ruins and let me tell you, they are the ugliest fuckers I’ve ever seen. They’re like zombies on steroids and a lot more terrifying to face irl than watching them in game. We also found Duncan by the Eluvian. He explained that I was still infected, though he didn’t need to tell me that. I felt it, deep within my being, and I still feel it now. Maybe it will always linger at the border of my conscious. But there is something different about me now, different from the Blight. It’s like a power that had been dormant was now surrounding me. When I close my eyes and concentrate enough, I can almost see it. The orange and red hues of a sunset, it leaves me feeling calm, like everything is still for a moment. I’ll probably have to look into that at some point._

_Duncan gave me an offer to join the Gray Wardens as they have a cure for the Blight. “””””A cure”””””” We’ll see how that goes._

_He allowed me to stay for Tamlens’ funeral, though it was hard to pay respects to someone who wasn’t truly dead yet. But I guess he is essentially dead. I wish I could grant him that mercy._

_Leaving the clan was hard, they gave me a home in a world where I had none. They taught me how to hunt and fight enough to survive. I found friends and family in the clan. I’m bitter I will not have the chance to develop those relationships further._

_But I cannot dwell on the past. To survive, I must move forward. I am writing this in camp with Duncan, he says we will reach Ostagar by late afternoon tomorrow if we keep at our pace. It is urgent we move fast before the Blight worsens my health more, after all. I’m trying not to think of the horrors I will face once we are there._

_Maybe they will have more paper I can use? It may be useful to vent my feelings more often now. I may also die within the next few days. There are so many possibilities. I’ll make the most of life while I still have it._

_The sky is very pretty tonight. That’s one thing I appreciate about here, there isn’t any light pollution so you can see all the stars. I’ll stop rambling and sleep now. Hopefully I will write again soon._

_Peace out,_

_Braidy_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW I GOT IMPATIENT and wanted to get the story moving so i can start,, rlly getting into characters. the future is exciting (even though im swamped in essays right now. lets not talk about that) im also realising i havent really described how Braidy looks so I'll add a drawing of her at some point,,, probably.  
> EDIT: i got bored and did this in an hour here she is. my child (issa link because wtf is html)
> 
> https://imgur.com/a/6mO6HA7
> 
> Once again if theres any obvious mistakes pls dont hesitate to point them out i am simply a tired uni student
> 
> Peace out,
> 
> Ghosty<3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joining!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.... may have gotten carried away. I would've split this chapter in two if I could find a good place to do it but that just didn't happen so enjoy, my children. FEAST AWAY!

Somehow, they arrived at Ostagar a lot earlier than planned. Well, it was only early afternoon, but the point still stands. Duncan’s pace seemed to be set at ‘the Blight is beginning, and we really don’t have time to be slow’, which was fair. Braidy knew that him and many others would probably be dead by this time tomorrow.

_Yikes. That’s not a fun thought._

Braidy fought off a full body shudder. There’s a time for thinking about the horrible things that were about to happen and there is a time for repressing all those Bad Emotions™. Now was definitely the time for repressing.  

They were greeted by King Cailan, expressing his happiness that they had returned in time to fight the next battle. Braidy introduced herself to him, and he had said of how impressed he was by the Dalish’s skill and how she was welcome here. He was probably just buttering her up, though. Despite his obvious bravado, she found his positive attitude almost infectious. Almost. She’d never met a king before, but he seemed like he made a good one. Once the king had left, Duncan was quick to follow, telling her to explore the camp and see Alistair about summoning the other recruits for the Joining.

“You’re just gonna leave me here, alone, in an unknown environment? Okay. This is fine.” She muttered to herself. “Guess I’ll just… wander around aimlessly then,” she said as she began walking across the bridge. That seemed like the right way to go (it was the only way to go). Braidy listed off the things she remembered she could do in the camp from the game; “Prisoner, Wynne, find the other recruits, and most importantly… find dog. Would it be weird to write this down? Probably too late now” she continued muttering, mostly to herself. She was pointedly ignoring the strange looks she got as she passed other soldiers. “Ah fuck…” she realised she still had her shoulder bag of belongings on her, and no idea where to safely put them. Thankfully she didn’t have much, only her wash things, bedroll, weapons, her paper and letters, and a spare change of clothes. Which was kind of a stupid thing to bring, now that she thought about it, since the Grey Wardens had their own armour which she would likely be given. If she survived the joining. She’d have to find Duncan… again.

Braidy felt… strange. And lonely. It was the first time she’d been left alone surrounded by strangers since she had arrived in Thedas. Before she got here, she would value her alone time, people could really get exhausting, but a good half a year of living with a clan had really destroyed her sense of privacy. Looking around at all the men dressed up in armour, she was reminded once again of just how much of a foreigner she was to this world.

Looking around, she was genuinely impressed by the scenery. Not far off, there were mountains covered in trees as far as she could see, and she took a breather to take in the beauty of it all. A moment of stillness in the chaos her life had quickly spiralled into.

When she reached the end of the bridge, she found the mages immediately to her right. They weren’t hard to spot, the bright purple tents and crackling of magic as they did some kind of ritual were enough to draw attention from everyone within 50 meters. Braidy let out an unflattering snort, the mages looked really stupid waving their arms around. _Is that really necessary?_

She turned her attention away from them before she insulted them and got a fireball to the face or something. Looking around, there were tents scattered everywhere, and Braidy decided she had absolutely no idea where to go.

“Fake it ‘till you make it, then!” she said, unconvincingly, as she stormed off into the forest of tents. If she kept wandering for long enough, she was sure she’d run into something familiar at some point.

Unfortunately, that something familiar turned out to be a large man in an even larger set of shiny, silver armour. She also, thanks to some divine bad luck, quite literally ran into him. Well, his chest. Taken by surprise, she swore loudly and stumbled backwards.

“You should watch where you’re walking, elf.” the man said, obviously annoyed. She really didn’t like the sound of his voice. _Did this bitch just call me elf? Excuse me??_

“Maybe YOU should watch where you’re going, shemlen” she quipped back at him, whipping out the ol’ dalish human insult to add to it. Which she instantly regretted, as when she looked up she was greeted with the gross face of Loghain. “Ohh fuck” she squeaked out.  She really didn’t want to get on this guy’s bad side already.

“What did you just say?” he snapped. Braidy winced in response.

“Absolutely fucking nothing. So sorry, must be off now. Have a _wonderful_ day” she rambled as she turned to run the fuck away from the big scary man who could crush her like a can of soda if he wanted to. Unfortunately, fate decided to not give her a damn break, and he grabbed her arm to stop her from moving.

“Do not take me for a fool. You will not leave without giving me a proper apology,” he spat. She turned and stared him dead in the eyes, then something primal, quite literally, sparked within her and she felt a buzzing of electricity scatter from her chest down to her hands. Loghain quickly let go of her and practically shoved her away when he noticed. She looked down at her hands, there were sparks dancing over them, the crackling noise getting louder as she seemed to panic more. _What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the-_

That was when a hand rested on her shoulder, not the best idea since this startled Braidy more for a second, the electricity fizzing and falling from her hands now. “Calm down, dear” a soft voice spoke to her, “you must control it,” they continued, seeming sterner now. She hadn’t realised she was breathing heavily until now, so she forced herself to control her breaths. The electricity faded from view, but she still felt the tingling under her skin, around her hands and arms. Now that the immediate threat had subsided, Loghain decided it was a good time to pipe up again.

“You dare threaten me, mage?!” he shouted. _So we’ve changed insults now?_ Panic was replaced by anger again, “Look I get I’m the one who ran into you, but you didn’t have to be a dick about it!” she rebuked, not minding that she was digging a deeper hole for herself. She was pretty sure if it were possible, steam would be coming out of his ears right now. He was about to yell something again, when Braidy’s previous saviour spoke again; “Now is not the time for hostilities,” the woman moved forward to step in front of her and Braidy was now facing an impressively tight bun of grey hair. The woman had a staff attached to her back and was wearing circle mage robes.

 _Oh… OHH. Wynne to the rescue?!_ She squealed internally.

“Tensions are high enough already. But I apologise on behalf of her” Wynne said calmly. _I already technically apologised but ok._

Somehow, this seemed to placate Loghain for now, he grunted and stormed away. _Wahay! Protective grandma barrier is super effective!_ Braidy was celebrating internally when Wynne turned to face her, and she’d be a dirty liar if she didn’t admit how attractive Wynne was in real life. Braidy wheezed.

“You’re Duncan’s new recruit, are you not? You’ve certainly made an interesting first impression.”

Braidy laughed, “I sure am, that’s my specialty! Uh… thanks for saving my ass there,” she said genuinely. Wynne smiled, and Braidy was silently relieved that she hadn’t peeved the woman off too badly. “You’re very welcome, we mages must support each other in times like these especially”

“Yeah, us mages… MAGES? I mean, absolutely!” _Way to not seem like a weirdo, Braidy._ Wynne didn’t seem phased by her word vomit. _Freak out about this later._

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wynne, one of the mages summoned by the king”

“Nice to meet you! I’m Braidy, I’ll have to find some way to properly thank you”

“Well met, I will hold you to that! And good luck to you on the battlefield. To us all, in fact.”

“Thank you, we’ll need it. Oh! Is there any chance you know where the Grey Warden tent is?”

“Of course, I will show you there, so you don’t run into any more trouble” Wynne said, teasing her and she began to walk. Braidy grinned sheepishly, trying to forget how close she’d been to unintentionally zapping one of the most important members of the army.

As they were walking, she made note of the location of the dog pen on the way. When they reached the tent, she said goodbye to Wynne and searched the area for Duncan. Luckily, he was just on the other side of the campfire. “Duncan!” she waved at him to catch his attention. He looked up at her. “Braidy! How are you finding Ostagar?” he asked as she approached him.

“Large and confusing, this place is impressive, though. Is there any place I can put my bag? I don’t really want to be lugging it around everywhere if I don’t need to be,” she said, realising how whiny that must sound now. Duncan seemed to be understanding, though, and pointed to the tent behind him, “In here, you can set your bedroll and belongings where there is a space.”

“’Kay. Thank you” she said as she walked into the tent. It was surprisingly large, but probably couldn’t fit more than five people, which was a lot for a tent anyway. She found an empty space and dropped the bag onto the floor, she could set up her bed later. Time was going by faster than she hoped, so she’d have to hurry if they were to get the joining finished by the end of the day. Stepping out of the tent and saying bye to Duncan for now, she power walked towards the dog pens. Helping the dog was number one priority right now.

She knew she was close when the barking of dogs became apparent. She really missed having a dog, back home, her family had kept exclusively irish setters. She couldn’t remember a time when one wasn’t in the house. Mabari were a lot different to setters, but they were still big and adorable, so Braidy was excited to see one up close.

“Hmm. This isn’t good, I’d hate to waste such a promising member of the breed.” The human, obviously the carer, was muttering to himself. When he heard her approach, he turned to her. “Are you the new Warden? I could use some ‘elp”

“What’s up—er… whats the problem?”

“This is a mabari. Smart breed, and strong. ‘Is owner died in the last battle and the poor ‘ound swallowed darkspawn blood. I have medicine that might ‘elp, but I need ‘im muzzled first.”

“Welp, guess I’ll give it a try,” she said, there was no use asking more questions she’d know the answer to.

“Go in the pen and let ‘im smell you. We’ll know right away if ‘e’ll respond. Let’s ‘ope this works, I’d really ‘ate to put ‘im down,” he said, handing her a muzzle and opening the gate to the pen. Braidy walked in slowly, not wanting to spook the dog. The mabari was larger than she anticipated, he easily reached up to her chest. He took up an aggressive stance, baring his teeth at her until Braidy put her hands up in defence.

“Shh, I’m not going to hurt you, buddy” she said softly. The dog backed down and whined. She felt a wave of sympathy for the dog, he looked to be in a lot of pain. “I’m just going to put the muzzle on you so we can help you, okay?” she said as she cautiously stepped closer. The dog whimpered and backed away, but Braidy was quick to put the muzzle on. He didn’t show any intention to be aggressive. Once the job was done, she gave him a quick scratch around the ears, “Good boy, that wasn’t so hard was it?” she cooed. He gave her a huff in response. Braidy chuckled and left the pen.

The man looked proud, “Well done! Now I can treat the dog properly… poor fellow. Come to think of it, are you heading into the wilds any time soon?” he asked.

“Should be, why?”

“There’s a particular ‘erb I could use to improve the dog’s chances. It’s a flower that grows in the swamps ‘ere, if I remember. If you ‘appen across it I could use it. It’s very distinctive: all white with a blood red centre.”

“Alright I’ll see if I can find one”

“Good. In the meantime, I’ll begin treating our poor friend,” he turned to go into the pen, so Braidy took that as a signal to leave. Looking around, she walked in the direction she would find the prisoner. She probably didn’t have time to talk to him, but she could at least try and convince the guard to give him some food. Spotting him, she quickly skipped towards the guard.

“Hey! The prisoner hasn’t eaten in a while, has he?” she said, only slightly winded from skipping uphill. That wasn’t embarrassing at all.

“No, nobody sends me nothing to feed him with, the only way he’ll get food is if I give him mine,” the guard sounded grumpy. “Come on, this guy is probably going to die soon anyway. So you’ll miss one meal, at least let him go out with some comfort,” she replied. The guard grumbled, taking time to think about it. Braidy was staring at him, waiting for a reply.

“All right, all right. I guess the poor fella could stand to have one meal in his belly before he hangs. Don’t know why you care,” he said. _Because I have a shred of empathy, maybe? Sheesh_. She gave him two thumbs up, said thanks, and ran off before he could ramble on anymore. She needed to find Alistair now so they could gather the rest of the recruits and go on the mission into the wilds. Feeling a little less daunted by everything, she found it easier to navigate her way around without walking blindly into the chest of scary commanders. Working from what she remembered of the game, she walked to where she assumed Alistair would be. She found him in a secluded area arguing with a mage. As she got closer and really got a look at him, she had to fight back yet another squeal.

_He’s just a big golden retriever! I want to squish his face!_

The face in question was currently looking mildly annoyed, “I simply came to deliver a message from the revered mother, ser mage. She requires your presence” his voice sounded exactly like it did in game. _Holy shit._ Braidy decided to stand back while they spoke.

“What her reverence ‘desires’ is of no concern to me! I am busy helping the Grey Wardens—by the king’s orders, I might add!”

_Way to not shoot the messenger, dude._

“Should I have asked her to write a note?” Alistair quipped, smirking now.

“Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!”

“Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message.”

“Your glibness does you no credit.”

“Here I thought we were getting along so well! I was even going to name one of my children after you… the grumpy one.”

_Finish him!_

“Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must! Get out of my way, fool!” the now grumpy mage stormed past Alistair, grumbling to himself.

“Well that went well” Braidy added as Alistair turned to her.

“You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

“Nothing like an epidemic to bring out the best in people!” she said, unable to hold back a grin.

“Wait, we haven’t met, have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?” he asked. Braidy grimaced.

“That’s debatable right now,” she said, hoping he’d be oblivious enough to think she was talking about meeting, “I’m assuming you’re Alistair?” she continued. _Play it cool. Freak out later remember._

“Yes! And you must be Duncan’s new recruit? Glad to meet you. As the junior of the order, I’ll be accompanying you when you prepare for the joining.”

“Pleased to meet you, I’m Braidy.”

“Right, that was the name! So, I’m curious: Have you ever actually encountered darkspawn before?” he asked, Braidy suddenly remembered yesterday, in the ruins when they were on a hopeless mission to find Tamlen. They had run into darkspawn then, and she wasn’t excited to be coming face to face with them again soon. “Yes,” she replied, not willing to elaborate further yet. He seemed to take the hint.

“I’ve only fought them once up close. And that was before the battles here started… which Duncan kept me out of so far. Tell me, did you find them as monstrous as I did?”

“They were the ugliest fuckers I have ever had the displeasure of seeing,” she said, earning a laugh from Alistair. _Even his laugh is adorable. The fuck?_

“Anyway, whenever you’re ready let’s head back to Duncan. I imagine he’s eager to get things started.”

“Him and me both, let’s get going,” she said, mentally adding an ‘Alistair has joined your party’ pop up.

 

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t far to walk to reach Duncan again. They met the two other recuits, Daveth and Jory. Duncan explained that they would be going into the Korcari Wilds to retrieve three vials of darkspawn blood to prepare for the joining. Braidy remembered they would have to drink that and had made a noise of disapproval. He also explained that there were Grey Warden documents that they should retrieve if they can.

Once they were in the Korcari Wilds, they were greeted by a pack of feral wolves. She never enjoyed killing wolves, but it really was kill or be killed, so she simply tried to make their deaths as quick as possible. Despite being absolutely terrified of whatever had happened when she had that spat with Loghain, Braidy thought now would be a good time to test out her new sparky powers. She was able to control the lightning after Wynne had intervened, but whether she would be able to summon it was another question. Either way, she was going to have to learn. And quickly.

Before they came across the first lot of darkspawn, they ran into… well, a bunch of corpses. “Over here…” a strained voice came from in front of them. Maybe one of them wasn’t so dead. The voice came from a man that was covered from head to toe in blood, as they approached, he began crawling towards them. _Getting real zombie vibes from this one…_

“Who… is that? Grey…wardens?” he spoke.

“Well, not as dead as he looks, is he?” Alistair said. _Oh, the witty jokes in a terrible situation. We’re going to get along so well._

“My scouting band was attacked by darkspawn… they came out of the ground. Please, help me! I’ve got to… get back to camp”

Braidy knelt beside him, “Show me where you’re injured, we’ll bandage you up quickly and you can head back to camp” she said as she reached into the small ‘first aid kit’ which she kept attached to her belt. It contained some bandages, healing poultices, and a couple potion vials. “I’ve got some bandages in my pack as well” Alistair said, also kneeling to help the man. Once they were finished, the man thanked them and went limping off back towards the camp.

“You think he’ll make it?” Braidy asked, mostly to herself as they watched him leave.

“Let’s hope so” Alistair commented, and then they were moving again. Braidy tuned out the sound of Daveth whining about our chances against the darkspawn and Alistair trying to comfort him. It probably didn’t help that Alistair sounded slightly condescending as he spoke back to Daveth. Braidy was sure he meant well, though. Soon, she spotted some stark white flowers growing from the trunk of a fallen tree nearby, and Braidy ran ahead to collect it. Up close, she could see the red that gradually grew more prominent towards the center of the flower. _Definitely the flower the dog man was looking for._ She wasn’t sure how much she needed to bring back to the man, so she cut off a few and put them into her pockets, leaving one left on the log so it could still grow. No one seemed to mind her stopping for flower picking, since Daveth and Jory were still whining to Alistair for some reason.  

When they encountered their first group of darkspawn, she heard Daveth and Jory make noises of disgust. She would have joined them, the darkspawn really were disgusting, but she was busy concentrating on pushing the buzzing sensation to her hands again as she took out her daggers. She could feel it’s presence, the tingling underneath her skin threatening to spill out, but it just wasn’t happening. She eventually got frustrated and continued her usual ‘just keep stabbing until you’re sure it’s dead’ approach to combat. Once all the darkspawn were down, she turned to Alistair expectantly. “Are we getting the vials of blood now, then?” she asked. He nodded, reaching into his pack to pull out the empty vials and handing one to each of them.

Braidy got to work trying to find a wound still bleeding on the last darkspawn she had killed, a Warlock by the looks of it. She was busy squeezing the blood out of a puncture wound on its arm when Jory spoke up, “I hadn’t realised you were a mage, Braidy. I’ve never seen one fight with daggers before,” he was looking at her in between trying to collect blood from his darkspawn. Braidy sighed, quickly thinking of a way out of this conversation.

“The Dalish teach magic different to you humans,” she said simply, “How’d you notice?” she asked.

“Your daggers were all sparkly when you were fighting… did you not notice you were casting?” he finished nervously. _Mother fucker._

“Oh! Yeah… no. Yeah. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, you know. Adrenaline and all that… shit happens” she rambled on. Jory gave her a look, then went back to concentrating on the vial. Daveth and Alistair hadn’t noticed their awkward exchange thankfully.

_Nice one, dude. They probably don’t even know what adrenaline is yet. And I’m going all sparky without noticing now? Fucking great. Note to self: work on your weird new magic in a controlled, and preferably alone environment._

She hadn’t realised the vial was now overflowing with blood, “errr… gross” she grumbled as she put the cork back into it. Her hands felt gross now, covered in blood. She really wanted this day to be over soon, but they still had the documents to find and Morrigan and Flemeth to meet. Braidy stood up and handed the vial to Alistair, who put it back into his pack. Daveth joined them shortly after. They all stood and watched Daveth struggle to fill his vial.

“We’re losing daylight here, Daveth. You need some help?” Braidy asked, it was really getting painful to watch. Daveth groaned and shook his head, a look of intense concentration on his face. Once he finally finished and handed it to Alistair, they were moving quickly again. By the time they reached the ruins, the sun was already setting, they were all tiring quickly and were thoroughly covered in darkspawn blood. They could’ve gotten the vials just from the blood that they were coated in, honestly. Braidy hoped there was time for a bath, or at least a wash, before bed. She’d lost count of how many darkspawn they’d run into, the groups of them seemingly getting larger and more frequent the further they went in. Her fighting was getting sloppier, she was glad they would be heading back soon.

 _It’ll only get worse from here…_  an evil little voice sounded from the back of her mind. _BAD. SHUT UP._ She tried to silence it.

There was a busted-up chest not far in front of them, Braidy jogged over and knelt to look into it. “Surprise, surprise. There’s nothing in here…” she said, hearing the others catch up to her.

“Well, well, what have we here?” a seductive voice came from the right of her. Braidy stood up and turned to see Morrigan, dressed in her usual leave-nothing-to-the-imagination outfit. “Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger picking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?” she continued as she walked down the slope towards them. Braidy would definitely be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little turned on right now. The whole group followed her movements as she circled them. “Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?” she was laying the monologue on a little thick now, but she eventually came to a stop, facing them.

“What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?” she finished. No one, not even Alistair, who was supposed to technically be supervising us, spoke up. _Guess I’m the one talking then._

“Neither, we’re Grey Wardens. This used to be a tower that belong to our order, not that it really matters now…” she said and Morrigan made a ‘hmm’ noise. Then she started walking again, continuing her circle of them. Braidy drowned out the rest of her monologue in favour of observing her. She was walking with the slightest sway to her hips, confidence ( _and sex appeal_ , she mentally added) was practically oozing from her. She knew the Wilds, so if they were to attack her, she would have the advantage and she knew it.

 _Miss Morrigan please step on my face, please_. _In heels preferably, thank you very much._

“Don’t answer her, she looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby,” Alistair stage whispered, interrupting her thoughts. _Rude._

“Ooh, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?” Morrigan answered with dramatic arm motions.

“Yes, swooping is… bad,” he said. Braidy let out a short laugh. Daveth sounded like he was whining again, which Braidy was really getting tired of. She hadn’t realised she wasn’t listening until Morrigan addressed her directly, her golden eyes felt like they were staring right into her soul.

“You there. Elves are not frightened little girls. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.”

 _Anything for you Miss Morrigan._ “Name’s Braidy. Nice to meet you,” she replied and Morrigan smiled at her. _FUCK me. Jesus, calm down, horndog. You’re not a hormonal teenager anymore._

“Now that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the Wilds. You may call me Morrigan. Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest, something that is here no longer?”

“To be fair it wasn’t that hard to guess…” Braidy muttered but wasn’t heard as Alistair was speaking over her. “’Here no longer?’ You stole them, didn’t you? You’re… some kind of… sneaky… Witch-thief” he sputtered out.

“How very eloquent. How does one steal from dead men?” Morrigan started to speak but Braidy interrupted before she could go further, “Right, ok. They’re no longer here, we get it. Someone you know obviously has them. Would they be willing to give the papers back to us? They’re technically Grey Warden property,” she was tired, impatient, and really wanted to just get back to camp and wash off all the gore on her. Morrigan seemed taken aback for a second, before speaking again, “You assume correctly. Fine, If you wish, I will take you to her. ‘Tis not far from here, and you may ask her for your papers, if you like.”

“Okay before any of you speak in some useless protest. Let’s just trust her and go and get those treaties, shall we? Any protests? No?”

“She’ll—”

“Daveth, I swear to all the gods, can we do one damn thing without you complaining?” Braidy barked at him. He looked offended at her, but she glared back at him, daring him to speak up again. Their silent challenge was interrupted by Morrigan telling her to follow them. Braidy turned and followed her, the others didn’t move for a while, but she heard them start moving eventually. Bless elf ears and their sensitive hearing.

After about five minutes of walking, they reached a hut with Flemeth stood outside. The sun had just passed the horizon and it was quickly getting dark. Meaning they were going to have to make their way back in the dark. Braidy groaned internally.

“Greetings, mother. I bring before you four Grey Wardens who-“

“I see them, girl. Mmm, much as I expected,” Flemeth interrupted her daughter. Braidy knew what conversation was happening next; some drabble about believing. Braidy should probably stop zoning out, but she was past the point of caring.

“And what of you? Does your outsider’s perspective give you a different viewpoint? What do you believe?” Flemeth was looking right at her now, and suddenly she cared again. Braidy squinted at her, wondering what she meant by ‘outsider’s perspective’, because of course someone like her knew about her situation. If Flemeth knew how or why she got here, or even how to get back home, then Braidy wanted to know. But now was definitely not the time for these questions, so she fought off the internal struggle and forced Rational Braidy who is definitely From Thedas to the front. _Okay creepy, kinda sexy (shut up, girl), lady. Two can play at the vague speaking game._

“I think it doesn’t matter what I believe. What matters is what I know,” she tried to sound as confident as she could. Flemeth chuckled at that, and Morrigan interrupted before she could speak again, “They did not come to listen to your wild tales, Mother.”

“True, they came for their treaties, yes? And before you begin barking, your precious seal wore off long ago,” she said as she turned and walked to collect a bunch of scrolls, “I have protected these,” she said as she held them out to us.

“You… oh. You protected them,” Alistair started accusatory, his voice quieting with realisation at the end.

“And why not?” Flemeth scoffed, “Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight’s threat is greater than they realise!” she said as Alistair took the scrolls from her hands.

“Thank you for returning them,” Braidy said.

“You are welcome, dear. Now, you have what you came for!”

“Time for you to go, then.” Morrigan couldn’t get rid of us fast enough, it seemed.

“Do not be ridiculous, girl. These are your guests.”

Morrigan sighed, “Very well. I will show you out of the woods. Follow me,” and with that, they were walking back again in a considerably awkward silence. Braidy was a little bitter she didn’t get chance to question Flemeth, but she knew if things turned out the way they should, she should be meeting her again soon. Then they would be having a conversation. They didn’t run into any more darkspawn, though, thank however many gods are out there.

They didn’t have time to say goodbye to or thank Morrigan before she had disappeared, the others didn’t seem too bothered by that, though. If anything, they were relieved to have her gone. As they were walking back to the Grey Wardens tents, Braidy excused herself. She had a flower to give to someone after all. Unfortunately, it was a lot less romantic than it sounded, she was getting it for a dying dog, after all.

Taking the now slightly crushed flowers out of her pocket as she walked up to him, “Hey! Are these the flowers you wanted?” she said.

“Let me see… yeah, that’s exactly it! Wonderful! Give me a moment and I’ll make this into an ointment,” he said, turning to do that. She took the time to look into the pen, the dog was lying down and breathing heavily, and Braidy felt a pang of sympathy for the poor thing. The man was quick and went in to administer the ointment to the dog.

“He looks better already. I’m sure he’d thank you himself. If he could,” he said, Braidy wasn’t too convinced.

“How long d’you think it’ll take for him to recover?”

“A day. Maybe two. There’s enough ointment here for him to make a full recovery. Why not come back after the battle? Perhaps we can see about imprinting him on you.”

“That’s possible? Awesome! I’m glad I could help, at least!” she was excited at the thought of that, briefly forgetting how the battle was going to end. She skipped away to head to where the others had gone. When she got there, the recruits and Alistair were already speaking with Duncan. Duncan noticed her and spoke, “Good, you’re here now. We can begin the Joining immediately.”

_I don’t even get to wash before facing near certain death? Wonderful._

“Have you told him about Morrigan and her mother?” Braidy asked, Alistair nodded. Duncan just seemed uninterested, which was fair. “Let’s just go. I’m anxious to see this Joining now” Daveth said, finally contributing something meaningful to a conversation.

Alistair took them to the old temple where they would do the Joining out of sight from the people in camp. Braidy had to admit she was nervous, the warden in game obviously survived but there was no guarantee that she would. _I’m dying anyway_ , she quickly reminded herself. _Might as well make it a quick death if I have to._ Daveth and Jory were arguing while she thought of this.

“Calm down both of you, we’ve come too far to back out now” she said loudly, only feeling a little bad after. They would definitely be dead within the next half hour. They started their roundabout conversation again, and Braidy ignored it in favour of focussing on how in the seven hells she was going to get this blood off her clothes. She suddenly became aware of every hair that was sticking to her face, so she quickly brushed it all out of the way. Her hair was stiff and left her hands feeling even more sticky than before, she shuddered and shook them out. _I don’t even want to think about how bad I definitely look right now._

The boys were still jabbering on when Duncan appeared for his dramatic entrance. “At last we come to the Joining. The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of Annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint,” he finished his speech by turning towards them with a large, silver goblet in his hands.

“We’re… going to drink the blood of those… creatures?” Jory stammered nervously. Duncan carried on without a care.

“As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you. This is the source of our power and our victory.”

“Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn and use it to slay the archdemon.” Alistair added.

“Ignoring the ‘those who survive’ part. Let’s get on with it then.” Braidy said. There was way too much exposition going on here.

“Not all who drink the blood will survive and those who do are forever changed. This is why the Joining is secret. This is the price we pay,” Duncan continued and Braidy suppressed a groan. “We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?” he said, and everyone turned to focus on Alistair. _Here comes the important bit. Focus._

As we stood in a circle, Alistair looked to the floor, “Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn…” he began, “And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you” as he finished, there was a heavy silence in the group. The dark truth behind the words settling on all of them.

_It’s die now or die slowly becoming one of them…_

Braidy focussed on her breathing. In for 4 seconds, hold, out for 4 seconds. She may meet her maker looking like a mess, but she will not face them in a mental mess… mostly not in a mental mess.

“Daveth, step forward” Duncan commanded. He did as told, taking the goblet from his hands. She had to give him credit, he didn’t hesitate when taking a gulp of whatever the fuck was in there. He gave the cup back to Duncan and took a step back.

That’s when it all went to shit.

Daveth staggered backwards more, his body convulsing. Braidy had to step out of the way when he fell to his knees, clutching his forehead. That’s when he started screaming. It was the kind of scream of agony you could never replicate unless you were feeling it too. She forced herself to look away, knowing it was cowardly, but there was a difference between knowing someone would die and actually having to witness it. She thought she could hear whispers of magic in the air, and they filled her with a feeling of darkness she’d definitely be revisiting in her nightmares.

“Makers breath!” Jory exclaimed. Daveth had stopped screaming now and had moved onto choking, gargling noises. She heard a thump, he’d probably fallen to the floor.

“I am sorry, Daveth” Duncan said, and Daveth went silent, as he would remain forever. “Step forward, Jory” Duncan continued, his voice void of empathy, probably from witnessing this ritual many times. No one should have to get used to people dying in this way. Braidy looked back to see Daveth sprawled face down on the floor.

_You were an annoying bastard, but you didn’t deserve this._

Jory was stepping back now, unsheathing his sword, “But… I have a wife. A child! Had I known…” he said as he was backing himself towards the wall. Duncan turned to him with a deadly look.

“There is no turning back.”

“No! You ask too much. There is no glory in this!” Jory was shouting in fear now. Duncan said nothing, taking out a knife. It didn’t take too many hits until Duncan had stabbed him straight in the stomach, blood sputtered out as he let out a silent cry. Then he removed the blade from him and Daveth fell to the floor. Thankfully, his death came quickly as he curled up on the floor. Braidy sent a silent prayer for both of their families to any god that would listen.

Duncan said no more and handed the goblet to her, and she decided to bite the bullet and just go for it. There wasn’t much of the blood potion or whatever it was left, so it was easy to chug it down. What wasn’t so easy to accept was the taste of actual death left in her mouth, along with the metal tang of blood. She handed the cup back and realised she was ok, much to her surprise. She was ready to celebrate when the mother of all headaches slammed into her forehead, behind her eyes, and everywhere it could reach in her skull. She heard whispers, actual whispers this time, they were clawing at her mind, taking over. She wasn’t herself, this wasn’t her body, and when she closed her eyes shut, a dragon was there. Looking at her.

It was blood red, it’s face covered in horns. But the worst part about it was its skin, which looked to be rotten, parts of it falling off and exposing flesh. Despite its dying look, she could feel the power emanating from it. The Blight.

It roared at her, she felt it echoing through her bones.

And when she opened her eyes again, she was greeted with Duncan and Alistair’s faces. They both wore a grim, yet relieved expression.

“It is finished. Welcome” Duncan said, and they both moved out of her vision. She had regained the feeling in her body, though she still struggled to stand herself up. Alistair came to her rescue, holding out his hand for her to grab, “Two more deaths,” he said grimly, “In my Joining, only one of us died, but it was… horrible. I’m glad at least one of you made it through.” He finished when she stood up.

“How do you feel?” Duncan asked. She thought about it, focussing. She could feel the Blight still there, though now it was more muted, hiding behind a veil of something. She could withstand this.

“Alive,” she settled on. _Nice one, edge lord._

“Did you have dreams? I had terrible dreams after my Joining,” Alistair asked.

Duncan didn’t give her time to answer, “Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn. That and many other things can be explained in the months to come.”

_Months we don’t have._

“Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining. We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us of those who didn’t make it this far.” Alistair said, handing me a small pendant. She took it.

Looking closely, it was a small vial filled with blood, the top and bottom of the vial had gold pointed ends, keeping the blood inside. It was attached to a golden chain, she doubted it was made from actual gold, though. She placed it around her neck, the chain hanging loosely over her chest. It gave her an odd sense of comfort.

“If you will, the King has requested your presence at a meeting to discuss strategy for the upcoming battle, I am not sure why. I would allow you time to prepare, but we are already late,” Duncan said, turning to move, leaving Braidy no choice but to follow.

“Are you sure the King will be ok to see me in this… state” she said, gesturing to her whole body as she caught up to him. She was sure she looked like she’d been dragged through a mountain of corpses then to hell and back. When they reached the meeting, they walked around to the other side of the table from King Cailan and Loghain. They were too busy arguing about forces to notice their approach, Braidy was thankful for that for now.

“Duncan, are your men ready for battle?” Cailan suddenly turned to address him. _Yikes, maybe they did notice us then._ “They are, your Majesty,” he answered.

“And this is the recruit I met earlier on the road? I understand congratulations are in order,” Cailan said, turning the attention to her. This, unfortunately, meant Loghain had noticed her, and he obviously remembered her from earlier judging by the formidable scowl that was present on his face.

“Thank you, your Majesty” she replied, dipping her head slightly. Still not entirely sure how to address a king. Then they went back to discussing (arguing) strategy. The king and the Grey Wardens were to go in initially to fight and distract the darkspawn, then someone would light the signal fire for Loghain’s forces to join the battle. Simple enough, really. Too bad it only takes one man to fuck it all up.

“Send Alistair and the new Grey Warden to make sure it’s done.” Cailan concluded, looking up at her again. Braidy panicked and gave him two thumbs up, “I’ll do my best, your Majesty!” she said enthusiastically, cringeing at herself inside.

“You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?” Loghain butted in. _Like you’re one to be relied on, dickface._ Cailan scolded him again for shit talking the Grey Wardens. “Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the archdemon appearing…” Duncan began.

“There have been no signs of dragons in the area,” Loghain cut in, not even bothering a glance in Duncan’s direction.

“Isn’t that what your men are here for, Duncan?”

“I… yes, your Majesty,” Duncan submitted. Two more people decided to join in with arguing so Braidy took time to reflect on how blissfully ignorant this King was. Loghain finally spoke up as the voice of reason for once.

“Thank you, Loghain. I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the king of Fereldan to stem the tide of evil!” Cailan was gushing while Loghain turned around.

“Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all…” he said cryptically before walking away. _What a dramatic, villainous moment._ _He had his betrayal planned all along…… THE BETRAYAL. FUCK._

Braidy sputtered out some nonsense to try and get the King’s attention but he had already dismissed them. She’d realised too late she could’ve taken the opportunity to stop the battle, or at least convince the king not to fight. She could hardly show up to his tent this late at night to try and warn him.

_You absolute fuck up, Braidy. What dumb divine being decided I was a good choice to put in this situation?_

“Come, let us tell Alistair of the plan,” Duncan said before walking around the table to head back to the tents. Braidy grabbed his arm gently, just enough to get his attention.

“Duncan. You have to make sure King Cailan isn’t on the front lines tomorrow,” she said quietly, not wanting anyone nearby to hear. Duncan didn’t seem to care about that, though, and decided to continue speaking at full volume while they walked.

“I have already tried speaking to him about this. He is insistent he fights with us.”

“Please, keep trying. I…” _Know he’s going to die. That you’re going to die too,_ “have a bad feeling,” she trailed off.

“And I, as well. I will attempt to convince him again tomorrow, if it eases your mind.”

“Thank you, Duncan”

 

When they arrived back at the camp, Alistair handed her a bowl of warm… broth by the looks of it, “It’s not much, but you’ll need it.” Braidy’s stomach decided then was a good time to begin its practice of whale impressions. When did she get so hungry? She thanked him and quickly dug in while Duncan explained what they would be doing in the battle tomorrow. Alistair was, as expected, not happy about being side-lined. If he knew what the fates of the rest of the Grey Wardens were, he probably wouldn’t be so resistant. Probably.

The food was finished all too quickly, and she set the bowl down by a pile of other dirty dishes. “Hey Alistair, where can I go scrub all this goo off me?” she asked him. He chuckled and pointed her in the direction of the baths. She grabbed her soap, spare trousers and shirt she’d be sleeping in and headed off.

The baths, as it turned out, were just a row of large buckets filled with water that was heated with runes inscribed onto the buckets. There was a stream nearby for them to refill the buckets if needed. She would definitely need to do that. There was a sectioned off area for Grey Wardens use only, Braidy didn’t really ponder why and just headed over there. She decided to wash her clothes first so they could be semi-dry before she went to bed, she must’ve spent a good half hour and at least 2 refills of the bucket scrubbing the bloodstains out of the cloth and fur. Some of the stains wouldn’t go away, but she decided she didn’t really care at that moment. Now that her thoughts weren’t occupied, she could only think about the things she had the opportunity to change but she was too busy thinking of herself to do anything. She’d lost Tamlen because she hadn’t stopped him touching the Eluvian. Daveth and Jory were dead too. Now the rest of the Grey Wardens and the king were likely to fall in the battle tomorrow, as well.

_Would trying to change anything even work? If it did, then what would the consequences be? Could I break the universe completely?_

_It is not your job alone to change fate,_ the rational voice in her mind supplied, _follow the path you know and were given, and it will work out._ It wasn’t a coincidence that her rational mind voice happened to sound a lot like Hope. Braidy took a deep breath and got on with her business, it was getting to be very late now.

Three more refills and a lot of soap later, Braidy was satisfied that she was clean. So, she put her leggings, newly cleaned foot wraps, and shirt on and headed back to the tents to get some rest.

Before she could go in, Duncan stopped her and held out a sack to her. When the sack moved, she heard the small clink of metal inside.

“Your armour, you should wear it tomorrow,” he said as she took it from him. A strange sense of pride swelled in her chest at being handed a set of armour. She looked up at him, “Thank you!” she exclaimed, and they bid each other good night. Her mood was quickly dampened as she entered the tent and noted the other two bedrolls that had been in there before had been removed. She didn’t need to guess who they had belonged to. Sighing, she put her sack of armour on the ground and unrolled her bedroll, shaking the dust out of the blanket. Lying down on the ground, the cold still seeped through despite how thick her rolls was.

Braidy covered herself in the blanket, curled into a ball, and cried herself into a sleep plagued by things much more terrifying than demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are all these repressed emotions gonna bite Braidy in the ass at some point? u damn well know it!!
> 
> Next up: The battle of Ostagar! Aka: Things, somehow, go even more wrong!  
> (Fun fact: in my notes i planned on having the battle in this chapter and then 5000+ words happened and i... decided against it)
> 
> Again, any obvious mistakes feel free to point out or yell at me in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkspawn, darkspawn, and more darkspawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is like half the size of the last one and took forever so im sorry sjawkegrnlk

Braidy was startled awake by an unknown hand on her shoulder. Not fully conscious yet, her body went into fight mode and lashed out a punch to her potential attacker, who proceeded to squeal. Yes, squeal. “Wait, wh-?” she said, sitting up and blinking her vision into focus.

“Maker, I didn’t expect that,” Alistair spoke, rubbing his cheek where she’d hit him, “You weren’t responding when I was calling you so I-“

“Fuck! No, it’s ok! Shit… I’m sorry you just startled me and-“

“It’s okay!” he cut off her panicked rambling, “You need to get your armour on, the darkspawn horde is moving faster than anticipated… it should be here within the hour” he was talking fast as he stood up. A wave of panic suddenly hit Braidy, “Shit!” she exclaimed, quickly pulling her shirt over her head and reaching for the bag that her armour was in. Alistair made a surprised noise, flinching back as if she’d hit him again and turned around so he wasn’t facing her, “Oh! Ok… just come out when you’re ready. Don’t be long!” his volume had raised significantly, and he made a swift escape from the tent. She would have been amused by his reaction if she wasn’t desperately trying to figure out how this armour worked.

_Why are there so many BUCKLES?_

She’d gotten just about all of the armour on after 5 minutes of tugging on straps and buckles, all that was left was the boots and metal chest piece with the griffon on the front (she mentally decided she would find someone to help her with that). Putting on the boots, she cringed at the unfamiliar feeling. She was definitely going to find an excuse to switch back to foot wraps as soon as possible. Not lingering on the realisation she’d gotten used to not wearing shoes, she grabbed the chest piece and waddled out of the tent.

Videos of cats trying to walk in shoes came to mind and she snorted. _Bad time. Read the room, idiot._

It was still dark outside; clouds covered the sky and there was a light drizzle of rain. It was fitting weather for the mood. Looking around, everyone seemed to be in a frenzy. Obviously, no one was prepared for this so early, though everyone seemed to be in the final stages of preparation.

“Little rude I was woken up last but okay,” she muttered, searching for Alistair or Duncan since she didn’t really know anyone else. _Not that you’ll need to_ , an ugly voice in the back of her mind whispered. She shook her head to try and literally shake that thought away, and that’s when she spotted Alistair not took far away. Fortunately, he spotted her too and made a b-line towards her.

“Hey can you he—"

“Here’s something for—”

They both spoke as he approached her, he was holding out what looked like some oatcakes. They both paused awkwardly and Braidy felt the cringe through her whole body this time, “What?” she said, sounding more annoyed than she’d intended to. He didn’t seem to notice, though… or he didn’t care.

“Ladies first” he said with a lop-sided grin. _Ah… a fellow who also needs to read the room… or area, even._ She gave him a small laugh for that anyway.

“Right. I had enough of a struggle getting everything else on… and this looked pretty intimidating. And I didn’t want to take up more time. Which I’m doing anyway by rambling so anyway please help me get this on,” she finished by holding out the piece towards him. She couldn’t tell whether she was nervous rambling or just awkward rambling at this point, but she decided to own it for now.

“Oh! Yes! There is… quite a lot to figure out. Here,” he handed her the strange oatcakes, “It’s not much, but it’ll give you the energy you need for the battle. Not that we’ll be fighting in it anyway,” he finished bitterly. She sighed and took them from him as he took the piece from her and motioned for her to turn around, so she did. As he fiddled with the buckles, she ate the food, which tasted like she was crumbling concrete in her mouth. _This is the most depressing final meal I’ve ever had the misery of witnessing,_ she thought with a grimace.

“No offence to the chef but these taste like ass” she commented and he laughed quietly behind her.

“Field rations tend to be like that, especially when we are under such time constraints” he replied, “Right, putting it over now, uh… brace yourself,” he sounded awkward, this whole thing was awkward. Braidy made a ‘pfft’ noise and a cloud of oat dust flew out of her mouth, which didn’t help her amusement at all. Anything to not think about the upcoming battle which was definitely not rapidly approaching. She was briefly blinded by metal and then when it had settled on her, she realised, begrudgingly, that it was very similar to just putting on a tank top. She felt her face flush with embarrassment as he told her she’d need to move the (kind of) jacket over the shoulder straps.  She placed one of the crackers (she really didn’t know what to call them) in her mouth, unbuckled the strap holding the jacket together and awkwardly moved it about until the jacket settled comfortably on top of the chest plate.

_Note to self: metal thing before weird jacket thing._

After a few more awkward moments of adjusting straps around her sides, everything was secure, and thanks to amazing timing, Duncan walked up to them. She finished munching on her dust crackers as he spoke, “I see you two are almost ready, you remember the plan, yes?” he asked. Braidy nodded, her mouth noticeably dry from a combination of post-sleep dehydration and the probably literal sand that she was eating right now.

“Yes, yes: Cross the gorge bridge, head to the tower of Ishal, wait for the signal, then light the beacon” Alistair listed out their orders. Braidy nodded again, “woh he shed,” she finished with a glamourous cough. _Seriously did I just get the extra dry or stale ones? Fazing the newbie?? RUDE._

“Once the beacon is lit, stay with the Teryns men. Word will be sent if you are needed,” Duncan ordered.

“Yes, sir!” they said in unison. Braidy saluted, though she wasn’t sure she was supposed to. Duncan seemed amused. Yeah, she didn’t need to do that. “Duncan did you by any chance get to…2 she began to ask but trailed off as she saw the grim look on his face.

“I did. The king will still be fighting alongside the wardens” he replied. She knew it would end up like this, so she just sighed and thanked him for trying.

He told them to wait by the bridge before wishing the luck and dismissing them. It was then that Braidy noticed the camp was significantly quieter than before, the remaining soldiers in the area quickly moving out to join the rest of the army. Alistair was staring off in the direction Duncan had left. Whispers began clawing at the edge of Braidy’s mind, filling her with a sense of unease. _Is that the darkspawn?_

“To the bridge then?” she asked, catching Alistair’s attention. He was about to speak when a panicked elf ran up to them.

“Y-you’re the Wardens meant to be lighting the beacon, yes? Duncan said you probably wouldn’t be fighting b-b-but I have to g-give you potions so…” the elf stuttered, handing them both a couple of health potions. Braidy was putting the potions carefully into the small bag attached to her belt when the elf let out a gasp and held out a vial containing a blue liquid. Braidy stared at the vial, then looked up to the elf’s face, dumbfounded. The elf moved her hand closer, showing she could take it.

“OH!” She realised, then took the potion from the elf. _Lyrium, dumbass._ The elf scuttered off before either of them could thank her. There was a moment of awkward silence before Alistair spoke up, “So… bridge?” he said, looking at her. The whispers were getting louder, and the orange hue of torchlights filled the near horizon. Braidy nodded, and they jogged towards the bridge.

Then the shouts of men and darkspawn alike echoed through the ruins. The battle had begun.

 

* * *

 

 

“Let’s go! We need to get to the tower!” Alistair said, touching her arm to make sure she was paying attention, and they started jogging again. Archers were lined across the side of the bridge, already firing at whatever they could see. They were about halfway across the bridge when a large, flaming ball crashed in front of them, blasting them both off their feet. Momentarily blinded and on the floor, Braidy had a small coughing fit trying to get the smoke out of her lungs. Rubbing her eyes, she carefully stood up and assessed herself. Finding no injuries, she looked to her side to see Alistair struggling to stand. She ran over to assist him. This was not getting off to a good start. He thanked her quickly and then they were on the move again, this time looking out for any incoming projectiles.

Three fireballs and two near misses later, they made it to the end of the bridge. They barely had time to be relieved because they saw two men running from the direction of the tower, one of them was shouting something even Braidy couldn’t pick up from where they were. Her elfy ears were only good when they weren’t being overwhelmed by the sounds of battle from every direction. Braidy and Alistair met they at the bottom of some stairs, “You… you’re Gray Wardens, aren’t you?” one of the men asked, “The tower… it’s been taken!” he continued, not giving them time to answer.

“What are you talking about, man? Taken how?” Alistair asked, concern evident in his voice. Maybe a bit of mild panic as well.

“The darkspawn came up through the lower chambers! They’re everywhere! Most of our men are dead!” the man said, glancing up at the tower and Braidy was hit with the reality of just how terrifying and powerful a force they were up against. The fighting had barely started, and the darkspawn had already eliminated a whole tower of men, how were they supposed to compete with that?

“Then we have to get to the beacon and light it ourselves!” Alistair said urgently, startling Braidy briefly. _Wait wasn’t that the plan in the first place?_

She didn’t have time to question it more, as they were moving again, this time with the other two men joining them. She didn’t know their names, so she decided to name them guard and soldier. They’d barely made it up the stairs when they were attacked by a group of darkspawn. The darkspawn looked eerily like dwarves, their stature like them, not that Braidy had met a dwarf yet in Thedas. _Holy shit I haven’t met a dwarf yet._ An arrow shot past her head, snapping her back to reality. _Bad time to zone out BAD TIME TO ZONE OUT._

She got out her knives in a panic, causing sparks to crackle at her fingertips. She really had to get that in control, and fast. The dwarf-like darkspawn were relatively easy to take out, their stocky figures making them less mobile and a larger target. “Oh, Genlocks! That’s the name!” Braidy remembered, out loud, unfortunately. The others in the party looked at her, probably surprised at her sudden outburst, she just shrugged and continued towards the tower. The others followed closely behind, apparently happy to let her lead the way.

From what she remembered; they would run into at least one alpha before they get into the tower. She was not looking forward to that fight. They ran into a few genlock stragglers on the way, they were easily taken out by the solder who preferred to use a bow. They finally reached a clearing with a paved slop that lead to the entrance of the tower. Which would have been a relief if there wasn’t a very large group of darkspawn blocking their path. A warm presence washed over her suddenly, “ _Focus”_ someone whispered, “ _The Fade will bend to your will. Reshape it… oh! Like sand!”_ Braidy wasn’t sure what that meant, or if she was really hearing it, but she continued into the fight. With no official leader of the group, everyone settled into a basic battle formation.

The first group was a few more genlocks, easy targets. _Like sand… but with lightning? How the fuck—_ she reached one of the genlocks, blocking an incoming attack from it. She tried imagining it, focussing the magic to her knives, but all she got was a buzz on her hands. Which, judging by the smell, was burning the grips on her knives. The genlock went down after a few choice stabs at it.

“Archers!” the guard shouted to the group, who were finishing off the other darkspawn on the ground, just as an arrow came flying towards Braidy, narrowly missing her head. “Fuck!” she exclaimed and felt a surge of panicked energy rise through her, “Reshape it…” she breathed and forced the energy to her hands, to her weapons. An extension of herself. It gathered into a ball of purple and white, the electricity moving the way it wanted to, but within her control. _A ball!_ She felt a rush of determination and threw the ball at one of the archers.

She felt the energy leave her in an instant, the ball finding its own quick path to the darkspawn, which began to spasm as it was shocked. An arrow flew into its head and it finally went down, hopefully dead. In the rush of the moment, they took care of the other archers in the same way and set off up the slope.

Braidy could feel that, what she assumed was her mana, had drained slightly. She felt somehow… less than she had before. She was making a mental note to pace herself when they reached the clearing by the entrance to the tower and were promptly greeted by a Hurlock alpha and several regular hurlocks.

“Nice of them to send a welcome party, right?!” she said to the group. Whether they responded or not she didn’t find out, because the alpha was already roaring at them, sending its minions towards the group. Without another word, they all dove into battle again.

 

* * *

 

 

The tower was… hell. Literal hell. Corpses of human and darkspawn alike were strewn across every room. The darkspawn had set up barricades of flesh and wood and, to make it worse, they’d set some on fire. And the stench. Oh god, the stench.  It was as if infection and death had mixed into one and tainted the very air.

All in all, it wasn’t good for moral. The near constant waves of darkspawn pouring in from every room wasn’t helping either. They never seemed to end. But they kept going, kept pushing forwards through and up the tower. The others didn’t need to know that this was all going to be for nothing.

When they finally reached the top of the tower, the tension in the group was almost solid. They were all getting tired, they hadn’t been fighting for long, but it had been against far too many darkspawn than they were equipped for. Braidy was down to the lyrium potion and one health potion thanks to a few unfortunate encounters with stray arrows. The arrows hadn’t hit anything important so far as she could tell, but without proper healing they were probably going to leave a scar. That was the last of her worries at the moment, though. There was only a large pair of doors between them and the room, a heavy pressure was emanating from beyond the doors. It felt like a darkspawn, a powerful one.

The group had a quick check to see that everyone was as ok as possible, time really wasn’t on their side, and they pushed open the heavy doors.

Weapons at the ready, she looked around and saw…

An ogre. A giant fucking ogre was staring down at them. And it was the only thing stood between them and the beacon.

_Fucking WONDERFUL._

Everyone seemed to be frozen in shock for the moment, so Braidy decided to step in, “I’ll distract it, you hit it with the good stuff!” she shouted at the group, not bothering to wait for acknowledgement before downing the vial of lyrium and running at the grotesque creature. It was easily four times her size and let out a roar, spit and blood flying everywhere, that sent a feeling of terror straight to her gut as she neared it. It got into a position like it was going to charge, and she knew if it did it would plough straight through their group, she heard the others catching up behind her. _Quick thinking!_

“Raah! This way you ugly fucker!” she yelled at it, knowing she’d already caught its attention, and quickly changed the direction she was running in, hoping it would try and charge away from the others. That seemed to be enough, and not unlike a bull, it charged towards her horns first.  The ogre was a lot faster than she thought, and she barely had enough time to dive out of the way as it sped past her and slammed into a wall.

She was weary, this was so much more fighting than she was used to, but she forced herself to recover as quickly as possible. _Well that plan went sideways quickly._ By the time she’d pulled herself off the ground, coughing from the dust she’d inhaled, the ogre was practically next to her again. Though this time, Alistair and the guard were there swinging their swords at its legs. “Are you okay, Braidy?” Alistair shouted to her as he took a chunk out of the ogres’ calf, which hardly seemed to phase it at all. The soldier was firing steady shots into its chest.

“Fine!” she wheezed, and the ogre shook Alistair from its leg and used it to kick the unsuspecting guard before he could do any major damage to the other leg. The guard went flying, she didn’t take the time to check if he’d survived that. The ogre had to go down. Alistair seemed to be briefly disoriented. She ran towards it, focussing the buzzing towards her hands so a coating of lighting covered her knives, and plunged both into its ankle, sending a shock through… at least through its legs. That seemed to be enough to make it fall to its knees for now. _Hell yeah! That was badass!_ She hardly had time to revel in her minor victory as a large hand surrounded her abdomen and squeezed. She let out a scream as the ogre lifted her into the air, crushing harder on her body. She couldn’t breathe, she was aware of someone saying her name, but she couldn’t hear, stars were appearing in the corners of her vision as the world seemed to slow down.

She couldn’t breathe.

She was being crushed.

_‘You can’t die here!’_ something whispered frantically in the back of her mind, and the world was in motion again. Her breathing was rapid, as frantic as her the voice had seemed, and she lashed out with her knives, hitting any part of the hand gripping her that she could.

She was getting dizzy, the stars in her vision being replaced by black, but she kept stabbing. In her panic, lightning was spewing from her attacks, crackling in the air around her as it searched for something to hit. Braidy was so close to blacking out when the ogres grip finally loosened and she fell to the floor, her entire upper body feeling like it took most the impact.

She was led face first on the ground, desperately inhaling and trying to regain her breath, when someone else shouted a command she couldn’t make out. When she looked up, it was in time to see Alistair launch himself at the ogre and topple it over, stabbing repeatedly at its neck. The smell of blood, death, and cooked flesh suddenly hit her senses as she regained enough oxygen to be aware of the situation.

The ogre let out one last cry that was drowned out by gurgling and finally went limp. She couldn’t sense any more darkspawn in the immediate vicinity, so she let herself relax and focus on recovering enough to stand again. Every breath she took sent sharp pains through her chest, she’d definitely broken a rib. _I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore._ She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. She was alive, that was enough for now. Mostly. There was movement around her, and suddenly Alistair appeared and kneeled next to her.

“How hurt are you? Can you move?” he asked, concern evident in his voice. She’d probably hit a whole new level of looking horrible. She took a shaky breath, fire coursing through her chest again.

“I think my insides are—” she paused to cough, “soup right now…” she managed to wheeze out, “Give me a minute I’ll get up. Go see if they’ve sent the signal so we can light the beacon,” she finished, more pains making themselves evident across her entire body. It was a good sign; she could force herself to move if she wasn’t in shock. Alistair nodded and went to keep a lookout for the signal.

She wasn’t sure how long she led there, trying to steady her breathing, but when Alistair announced he was going to light the beacon she decided she should probably stop feeling sorry for herself and move. With a considerable amount of effort, she pushed herself off the ground and realised she’d been lying in a pool of the ogre’s blood, which she was now covered in. She made a gagging noise, “Whhyyyyyy,” she groaned.

When she stood up, it was just when Alistair had finished lighting the beacon. “Now we wait,” he announced and walked back over to her. She looked to the right where the soldier was looking down at something… or someone, she realised with a grimace. _Looks like the guard didn’t make it._ “A shame. A heroic death, though” Alistair commented as he approached her. She made a noise in agreement.

_Why did I make it and he didn’t?_

Her whole body sagged, everything ached, and she felt a tiredness that seeped into her bones. Cold suddenly swept over her, like she’d removed a layer of clothing. She felt so very alone.

_I want to go home._

Once again, she wasn’t sure how long she’d stood there, or when Alistair had moved to the window, probably to observe the fighting from afar, but she was brought back to reality when his commentary on what was happening got louder suddenly.

“Where are the reinforcements? Loghain’s men should have joined the battle by now!” he shouted, turning to her with a look of panic. _It’s happening, then._ She couldn’t bring up the energy to pretend to be shocked. The soldier let out a panicked noise.

“What? Where are they?!”

“They… they’re… retreating” Alistairs voice faded as he spoke, the realisation that Loghain had betrayed the Wardens, and the King. Braidy hugged herself but pulled her arms back down when it sent pain through her. She knew this would happen, but that didn’t make it hurt less. Knowing that man had willingly left the wardens and the king to die. Knowing they had been left to die, all in a selfish play for power. So many lives wasted.

_And so many you could have saved. But you didn’t._ That horrid voice whispered to her again. “I can’t do this,” she choked out, tears falling own her cheeks.

“We need to leave!” Soldier guy spoke to them. Alistair didn’t respond, he was still looking out at the devastation that was probably happening not far from them. Braidy looked towards the soldier and nodded.

And that was when she felt it, the corruption. The whispers, closer now. So close they were almost overwhelming. Alistair had heard/felt it too, as he turned his attention towards the door. Braidy, very painfully, picked up her daggers as the darkness creeped closer and closer towards the room. She got into an attack position, her entire upper body screaming in protest.

Even if she wanted to, she wasn’t going to just lie down and let the darkspawn kill her. She heard the others move into an attack formation by her. “It’s been an honour, lads” she said, giving determined looks to them both.

And then the horde of darkspawn flooded into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway this was really difficult to write (hence why it took so long) and ive never rlly tried writing fighting before so im not 100% happy with it but i also wanted it OVER WITH 
> 
> so we end on a slightly positive note I hope u enjoyed even if it reads awkwardly (im also posting this at 3am without really proofreading it so pls feel free to point out any obvious mistakes/issues as always)


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